Trip to a South African Health Clinic: Malaria or Malaria-Free?

So, I was planning on a different post. It was supposed to talk about .....(Is this deja vu from Feb 1?) my trip to Zambia (which I am going to tell you about anyway...malaria story to be continued).

...I was supposed to talk about how I got pissed and pissed on at the Vic Falls (that's drunk and rained on for my American counterparts). I did a sunset cruise of the Zambezi river with an Irish guy, Steve, and 3 English couples - a great crew really. It turned not only into a sunset cruise, but a booze cruise as John, the boat captain, kept pouring me glass upon glass of free wine. After the trip, we slightly stumbled out of the boat and got into the van with the driver, Franco. When Steve and I were the only remaining ones to be dropped off at our hotel, I asked Franco, 'What do locals in Livingstone, Zambia do on a Monday night?' Without hesitation, he said: 'drink.' So, I naturally said, 'Well, why don't we take a detour and go to the local bar and we will buy you a drink.' I was speaking for Steve, but luckily, he was a good sport and went along with my plan! The dive bar had a pool table and we took on some locals in a few games of pool. I think I made 1 shot during all of the games, BUT i sure did make a lot of friends. I was such the social butterfly that the next day when I got a drive to the Vic Falls, I was chatting with the driver telling him how I checked out his local bar last night, and he responded: 'I know I was at the bar playing pool with you.'........

The Vic Falls. One Word: Stunning.

They are almost a mile long and the spray was so massive that it felt like it was raining, more like pouring, on us. I was absolutely drenched. I don't think pictures will do the Falls justice.

I also planned on sharing about my drive from Zambia to Jo'burg via Botswana with the guys (Willie tour leader from SA, Chris tour leader from Zimbabwe, Steve from Scotland, Glenn from NZ) - a fun group of guys. I introduced them to S'mores, but they preferred their beers and ciggies. They really don't know what they missed!

Ok, I guess i should get to the story behind the title of my blog.......

Long Story Short: I was puking like the exorcist, showing signs of malaria - puke, fever, body ache, headache, exhausted. I was told that I looked like death. We were in Kruger National Park where the gates closed at 6pm and there was no doctor in the gates. So, I had to pull through the night, listening to music, chatting with Willie and staring at the ceiling of my tent. Don't worry though...there is a happy ending to this story :)

I went to a doctor at a private health clinic. (I am apparently doing a tour of the African healthcare system). Doc confirmed that I was malaria-free and that I got some sort of African virus. Best news I have ever heard.

They then took me to a 5-star lodge and I just slept...and slept...and slept. Now it's March 9th and I am starting to feel human again! And according to the guys - looking a lot more human and pleasant than before the UAV: Unidentified African Virus.

I always say that you should try everything at least once.

Puking my brains out from UAV: Check

Next Stop: Capetown - maybe renting a car and driving up the cape....maybe a bungee jump?....