Day 24 to 26 - Laos: 2 Night Hike in Luang Namtha

I hiked for 2 nights in the jungle mountains of Luang Namtha. It was similar to my 2 night hike in Luang Prabang except....

* 4 other hikers (2 Germans, 1 Danish and same Swiss/Alaskan)

* more jungle

* saw a baby python and a poisonous red centipede

* slept in an open hut surrounded by bee's nests

* a lot of river crossings

* mid-hike lunch buffets on a banana leaf

NEXT STOP: 10 hour bus ride back to Luang Prabang

Day 23 - Laos: The Bus Mafia

Its a bit mafiosa whenever all paths lead to 1 person. And in Laos, there's equivocally a bus mafia with a Godfather in each town.

In Nong Khiaw, it was nearly impossible to get clear info about bus schedules and prices.

MY KNOWNS
* No direct bus from Nong Khiaw to Luang Namtha
* 30,000 Kip from Nong Khiaw to Pok Mong (1 hr)
* At Pok Mong, wave down a bus heading to Luang Namtha

MY UNKNOWNS
* How will I know which is the said bus to flag down to Luang Namtha?
* When will said bus be passing through Pok Mong? (I was told 9am-10:30am)
* How much is said bus?

In walks the Godfather, who said he could 'guarantee' the 3 of us that the bus to Luang Namtha will stop and will have a seat for us. Despite a likely 20,000 Kip uplift ($2.5), we decided that there were too many unknowns, so we bought from the Godfather.

The next morning 10 of us arrived to the bus station, and as we piled out of the truck. An American couple pointed to us, telling a group of bus drivers, "See more people. We Can leave now." The driver would not leave for Pak Mang ->Luang Prabang until the van/bus was full. However, the Godfather emerged and shook his head no. And then chaos unleashed.

I stood back listening to the melding pot of English, Lao, Dutch, French, and Hebrew filling the air, along with animated gestures that began to escalate in outrage.

"You think you're SO smart, but REALLY you're stupid!" the German woman roared with a thick accent. The 3 Israeli guys surrounded the scrawny Godfather, as one Israeli puffed out his chest, "Ok man, you give me my bus."

I personally wouldn't mess with the angry Israelis straight out of the army, but the Godfather remained nonplussed.

"Fine give us our money back and we'll take another bus." I heard someone say.

"I own all the busses," the Godfather said, "your bus did not come. You take this," pointing to an open truck for their 3-4 hour journey.

"I paid for a minivan and that's what I'm taking," the German lady retorted.

At this point, the 3 of us to heading to Pak Mong ->Luang Namtha left the sea of anger and secured a seat on the truck as the Godfather was refusing to give the others their money back. The French, Dutch, and American couple heading to Pak Mong -> Luang Prabang wisely joined us while the Israelis and German stayed behind in defiance.

Of course, when we arrived to Pak Mong at 9:30am, the Godfather there said the bus to Luang Namtha was full. Then he said there was space but we had to pay. My Lao translation of what we were doing failed, and our ticket stubs did not help either. So, we called the Nong Khiaw Godfather. After a heated conversation between the two Godfathers, the Pak Mong Godfather got off the phone, made us wait in silence for a few minutes, and then gave us back our tickets, "your bus comes at 11:30."

The most entertaining part was at 11am a 12 person minivan pulls into the station crammed with 15 people, including the German woman and 3 Israelis squashed between locals, still steaming from ear to ear.

The Israelis lost it once again when the Pak Mong Godfather literally pushed a man from behind, trying to fit 2 more people in the van. The Israelis barricaded the back seat and the Godfather was forced to let the Israelis win this battle.

The 3 of us made it on the 11:30 bus to Luang Namtha. We arrived after 10 total hours of travel and waiting time. Notice the awesome 70s upholstery, mickey mouse clock, and the door that stayed open with people hanging out through every dirt road and windy turn.

Watch this video to video to capture the bumpiness of the road, loud music and honking horns for the epic journey.

UNIQUE TRAVEL TID-BIT of the DAY: the night before I had dinner with a group of bikers. Some were travelling via motor bike for 2 weeks. Some were traveling the world via motor bike going on 1-3 years!!
NEXT STOP: 3 day hike in the jungle of Na Ha Valley.

Day 21 & 22 - Laos: lounging in Nong Khiaw, Laos Jeanne-Style

Day 21 was non eventful. I lounged in my hammock by the river and watched the sunset from the bridge.

Day 22 started with a 14 km roundtrip run to a village. I stopped a long the way, taking selfy jumping shots at the beach, watching a boy pull down coconuts outside of a monastery, giggling with a 2 and 3 year old dressed in Super Hero shirts, and enjoying an intense competition of bocce ball.

The afternoon involved a slow boat ride up the Nam Ou river with a 2 hour kayak ride back home.

UNIQUE TRAVEL TID-BIT of the day:
Lights were out way before 10pm each night at this sleepy town by the river.

NEXT STOP: travel day to Luang Namtha

Day 20 - Laos: I made a mockery of the Lao kitchen...

After a lounging day of doing a whole lot of nothing, I endeavored to master the art of Lao cooking. I was successful....successful in making a mockery of the Lao kitchen, that is.

I would like to say I was not totally setup for success by Leng and Phia, the perfunctory and stoic cooking team who ramboed through the demonstration of 4 dishes - chop, dice, dice, sizzle, serve - "Easy, now you choose 2 dishes."

A sign on the wall said, "We find most people are shy and don't ask questions. Please feel free to ask us about anything," Yet, any questions asked were addressed with curt 1-2 word replies and with a hint of disgust for our incompetence. If these 2 were caricatures on a Seinfield episode, they clearly would have befriended the 'Soup Nazi."

They sent us off to our stations without further guidance. I was the only non-vegetarian who did not have a sous chef at my station. (Not trying to make excuses for myself, just stating the facts :p)

Dish #1, Pork Laap, unraveled poorly, but decided I should move on since the efficient German station had already exclaimed they were done with dish #1 minutes before.

As I collected ingredients for dish #2 from the main station, Phia barked, "Hurry, everyone's almost done.

I get back into my groove, browning the garlic and lemongrass, preparing to drop in the 'minced' chicken Phia provided me. But alas, I noticed the chicken was actually a whole breast and I had only 1 cutting board for both my veggies and meat. I quickly tried to slice the chicken, but the unattended sizzling garlic vanished into a crunchy, blackened ash in my pan.

'Start over,' Phia said without offering assistance, 'Hurry, everyone's finished!"

This was not quite true because I passed the station with two 22 year old English girls who were lamenting and laughing over their accidental explosion of chili paste into their dish and their ineptitude with how to cook chicken. Not that I'm proud that my cooking skills were on an equal playing field as the college students.

I raced through dish #2, ending up with a liquefied sorry sight. With my 2 inedible dishes in front of me, I called Phia over to help me figure out what I did wrong, he recoiled at the of idea of trying my dish, shaking his head vehemently. When he realized I would not disappear, he relented, tried a small bite of the pork laap and said,

'Too much rice powder"

"But the recipe called for 1 Tablespoon, and I put in 1 Tablespoon"

"Too much"

"How can I fix it?"

"Its ok. Its ok." He said, placating me. "Go eat" and he flicked his hands toward the door, shooing me out of his kitchen.

I brought my sad dishes outside and sat next to the hungry looking English girls who were afraid they were going to get sick eating their flaming red concoction.

"Dinner at the night market too?" I said to the English girls with a smile, accepting defeat.

I left to get a proper home-cooked meal on the street.

NEXT STOP: Lounging in Nong Khiaw

Day 18 and 19 - Laos: It's Another World

On Day 17, i left Luang Prabang with a French couple in their 60s, a Swiss guy living in Alaska and 2 guides from Tiger Trails to do a 3-day hike in the Laos mountains (only 1300 meters) to villages.

As we reached the 1st Khma village (27 families), sounds of nature filled the air. The birds chirped in the sky above the turkeys, who boasted their feathers next to the baby chicks, who waddled in a group behind their mother, who brushed past the sleeping dog, who ignored the massive, snorting pig, who scrounged for food next to 2 piglets. The cows grazed peacefully nearby, clanking their bell as they trodded along, until the children chased them into the field toward the river.

The children outnumbered the adults 10 to 1 and their joyful laughter spread along the hilltop as they played, GASP!, without technology! A naked boy scampered by, rolling a tire with a stick. 2 boys climbed a 15-20 meter tree to pick tamarind. Kids jumped rope with tree ivy. A group of girls, wearing worn and dusty mismatched clothes, wandered around, 1 clutching a doll, another hunched over from the weight of her baby brother grasping his arms tightly around her neck.

In the evening, everyone ate around their respective fires until both children and adults returned to the communal mat inside their straw huts to sleep at 8pm.

The morning routine started at 3:30am. I did not get a glimpse of this life until 6:45am because I stayed indoors to try and escape the foggy and brisk 5 degrees Celsius temperature. Our host family had caught 8 rats. She sliced the rat stomach to remove the intestines,

roasted the rat on a stick, brushed the charcoaled hair off, washed it, and then roasted it again.

Our guide bought us a larger rodent type animal from the family next door to roast for our lunch. I learned Rodents have very little meat and very thick skin. The thick lemongrass sauce masked all flavors and I lied to myself that I was not eating R.O.U.S (Rodents of unusual size..Princess Bride reference) as I dipped my sticky rice into the tasty sauce.

The second Hmong village was larger with 72 families. They had access to a road and some houses had solar panels for electricity in the evening.

The children were also shy, but all guards were dropped once a volleyball appeared and a makeshift soccer field was erected with goals designated by broken tennis shoes. The Swiss guy, Andy, and I joined and after an hour, we desperately hoped a dinner bell would end the game. We left the boys running around with boundless energy on the field.

Meanwhile, a few families had converged into our host's hut for communal cooking. The men took turns as they pounded their wooden axe into a crate of sticky rice.

The woman sat nearby, waiting to collect the sticky substance and roll it out into pancake sized patties inside of banana leaves.

"Its another world", the French Woman said aloud in a thick accent as we left the village.

A life back to the basics: Slow-paced movements. Ingrained routines for survival. Rough, dry hands and feet from hard labor. Care-free playing children. Strong connected communities. Innovative uses of all materials.

Yes, it's a different world here.

UNIQUE TRAVEL TID-BIT of the DAY:
Despite hiking with Tiger Trails, there are tigers few and far between.  possibly as few as 30 wild tigers ;(

NEXT STOP: Chill day in Luang Prabang, ending the evening with a Lao Cooking Class

Day 17 - Laos: Morning Ritual in Luang Prabang

Every morning at 5:30/6:00am, monks in Luang Prabang process through the streets accepting offerings from the devoted local people, Tak Bat. They believe feeding the monks feeds the spirits of their departed relatives and bestows good luck and fortune for themselves in the future.

Also, each morning, the women setup their blankets and tarps with displays of vegetables, fruit, fresh fish, chicken, flowers, etc. The early bird shoppers weaved through the alleys to their favorite vendors, inspecting, massaging and smelling the morning selection to get the pick of the crop.

UNIQUE TRAVEL TID-BIT of the DAY:
Luang Prabang has a strict curfew. All businesses are required by law to shut down by 11:30pm, so locals can make it home before the midnight curfew or else they are heavily fined or arrested.

NEXT STOP: Departing today for my 3 day hike in the mountains to 2 villages

Day 16 - Laos: Elephants and Waterfalls and Rope Swings, oh My!

Elephants weigh around 5 tons. Their skin is as rough and hard as dried leather. Their ears appear floppy, but are actually quite strong and surprisingly soft on the inside. They have a good center of gravity because they can climb up and down hills as steep as San Francisco. They sleep standing up. Elephants can't jump. That's about all the fun facts I've got for ya after my 45 minute elephant ride...

...and 15 minute elephant bath...

...which ended up being more of a bath for me as the elephant snorted water from his trunk and sprayed behind him where I was sitting on his neck.

While no elephants were harmed in the filming of this ride / bath, I could not help but feel bad for paying to have this poor creature carry me around.

Luang Prabang is clearly a backpackers haven. After the elephant ride, i returned to town and within minutes, I met 7 random strangers on the street and we combined forces and hired a truck to take us to Kuang Si waterfall. We walked along a series of small,  horizontal cascading waterfalls into crystal, clear, blue pools of water. And then I did my first rope swing, plunging into the crisply cool pools.

UNIQUE TRAVEL TID-BIT of the DAY
Lao is a little larger than the UK.

NEXT STOP: 3 day hike through the forest and mountains to a Khmu and Hmong Village