Day 37 - Myanmar (Burma): Lost in Translation in Yangon

While I anxiously awaited the arrival of Alberto, I figured I would knock out a few touristy things in Yangon. The majority of my day involved people watching while getting lost.

I quickly learned Yangon is massive, or at least it feels massive. It's like rolling up to L.A. without a car and thinking you can walk across 'town.' And then you realize immediately you're poorly mistaken.

Yangon has 5 million people in a city that sprawls without sidewalks, is burdened with deadlock traffic and whose taxi drivers don't even know how to navigate the way. Or at least my taxi driver didn't, stopping 4 times to ask for directions before mistakenly arriving to the Air Bagan office, and finally my intended destination, Air Mandalay office, to pick up our 'paper' tickets.

It took over an hour to arrive to my next destination, despite having the Air Mandalay employee explain to him in Burmese and show him on the map the train station, which is way before the river. Upon driving over a bridge and asking, 'Where are we going?' And receiving the enthusiastic reply, "where are we going?," did I manage to get the driver to pull over - a few times - before finally getting the assistance of a man with a translation mobile app to clarify again my destination.

This lost in translation, resolved by technology, happened in 2014. I can only imagine what it was like to travel in Burma in the early 2000s. Although even in 2014, people on the train still seemed excited to a tourist, saying "hello" and "happy birthday" or flashing big smiles to welcome me.

As I left the train, the absence of English signs prevented my easy orientation on the map. I asked 2 young guys where the jetty was, pointing on the map. 'Jetty' they replied. 'This way?' I said, pointing to the left. They nodded and smiled. Not convinced, I followed up with 'This way?' Pointing to the right. Equally enthused, they responded with a nod.

I finally met a man who pointed me in the right direction. "Are you a Christian?" he asked. Not knowing how to respond, I said "Yes." "Are your practicing?" he replied. "No" I said. And with that, he left me saying, "I hope you find Jesus." Yes, in the city of 5 million I found the only Christian bible beater.

I also uncoveted the rest of the Westerners, all holed up at the same posh Burmese restaurant, 'Monsoon.' With the looks of the cleanliness of the street eats, I think I will be sticking to Westernized Burmese joints. To make a generalization, I don't think the Burmese cuisine will be winning James Beard culinary awards any time soon.

Below is Alberto and my first meal of oily curry and mystery meat.

NEXT STOP: JW & Alberto hit up the temples in Bagan

Day 35 & 36 - Vietnam: On the Mend for My Last Days in Hanoi

My last 2 days in Hanoi were spent getting on the mend.

My Vietnamese mother took her daughters and me to their favorite breakfast place, Cafe Hua, where they have specialized in bun rieu cua (tomato based broth, rice noodles, tofu and grayish blobs of crab paste) for the last 20 years. Yum!

We checked out the President Palace and the Ho Chi Minh Mausoleum where you queue for a good 30 minutes to walk by the body of Ho Chi Minh in a glass capsule. I was reprimanded 3 times by security for trying to take a picture, for having my hands in my pockets and for kneeling by a pond.

Next up, was the Woman's Museum, which is one of my favorite museums abroad. It showcased strong female Vietnamese roles in society - from women's roles in war to supporting their families as street vendors to becoming entrepreneurs.

After an overly aggressive reintroduction to solid non-soup food by eating pork belly, I ended the day with a 3 hour nap and then a fried Vietnamese spring roll cooking lesson by Thuy!

Alas, I said my grateful goodbyes to my Vietnamese family and Thuy drove me on her way to work strapped to my big backpack on her hot, yellow Vespa to start my much needed Spa day.

Its worth pointing out that in the video of the morning Hanoi rush hour commute below the motorbikes on the right are riding up on the sidewalk. Meanwhile, the women motorbike riders are rocking 4-inch heels and fashionable face covers.

NEXT STOP: Myanmar (Burma) and Alberto arrives!!!

Day 33 & 34 - Vietnam: Kindness of Strangers Part Two after a Night of Wretching on the Train

I've had food poisoning in USA, Mexico, Australia, India, Turkey, Botswana/South Africa, Colombia, Indonesia, and now Vietnam.

It was fate that my berth mates on the train ended up being Thuy, Thu An and Trang from the previous train ride. After catching up on our time in Sapa, we settled into our bunks and hit lights out at 9pm.

I had eaten dinner at a restaurant in Sapa, and its funny how you look back and recall details at the time that only become significant in retrospect. I remember choosing my restaurant carefully, thinking I sure would not want food poisoning on a train ride. And I remember eating my tepid and bland meal, searching for salt to make it taste better.

These were all things I thought about while puking twelve times in the tiny train bathroom that jolted me around like a rag doll as I got weaker and weaker. I gave up crawling to the top bunk and curled up on the floor of our berth, so I could make a quick exit to purge. I have to say I was a rather respectful puker with impeccable aim as the train sloshed around on the tracks.

At around 4am, Thuy saw me on the floor and I told her I was sick. I crawled on to her bed and curled up in her lap until we arrived to Hanoi.

After a shameless dry heave over the rail tracks upon exiting the train, I curled up on the suitcases and was rolled away by the man Thuy hired to take our bags (and me) out of the train station and to a taxi. It felt like we were going 50 mph when we were likely going 2 mph.

I arrived to Thuy's home and spent the day curled up on pillows on the floor. My body ached, I was nauseous and had an intense pain in my gut.

Thuy rubbed oil on my stomach and it felt very relaxing until all of a sudden, I realized the oil was burning, intensely. The heat kept increasing in magnitude like it feels when you apply Tiger Balm, but this turned from warmth to incendiary burning. I crawled to the bathroom screaming, "it burns. It burns," maintaining a slight awareness of humor in the back of my head that I sounded like Gollum from the Lord of the Rings, "It burns us! It burns us!" But the humor quickly escaped as I begin dry heaving (nothing left in me!) from the pain and stripping off my clothes, while Thuy desperately tried to wipe the oil off me.

But I have to say the intense pain in my gut went away after the burning oil episode, maybe because my body had other pain to concentrate on. And my nausea went away, until I tried eating a banana and an apple, which resulted in my 13th puke of the 24hr period.

Thuy was getting worried so we went to the doctor, conveniently located 200 meters down the alley. He gave me antibiotics for a stomach bacteria, and I'm happy to say I'm on the mend. Here's a meal of rice porridge and eggs whipped up by Thuy.

I found it fitting that Trang was wearing a shirt that said, A World Without Strangers. Once again, I'm overwhelmed by the kindness of strangers and feel forever grateful and indebted to my Vietnamese mother, Thuy, and her wonderful daughters.

UNIQUE TRAVEL TID-BIT of the DAY
Keeping clean is not an easy feat while travelling. My Vietnamese mother, Thuy, said, "Now I think u should have a hot bath. And I think your clothes are dirty. I will wash them." My clothes are dirty was the understatement of the year. They stink!

NEXT STOP: No plans but to recover!

Day 30 to 32 - Vietnam: Is the Magic of Sapa lost?

This post may only be interesting to those who have been to Sapa or to travellers who have seen a once precious travel destination change with the influx of tourists. At the very least, you may find my Unique Travel Tid-Bit of the day to be entertaining.

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What happened to the magical place called Sapa? Sapa is the outcome of the perennial traveler's dilemma, 'how do I get off the beaten path?' And when I do, will touching the untouched inevitably be the ruin of a place and their pure culture? Or does modernity and technology naturally make places evolve, lessening the culture with time?

"Sapa has changed," our guide said. Tourist sizes have swelled in size (from 30,000 visitors in 1997 to likely 1.5 million in 2014), large hotels haven been erected in town and prices have skyrocketed not only for tourists, but also for locals.

I escaped the tourists with 2 other awesome travelers, taking the 'long route' up and over the mountain with Sapa Sisters tour company. But as we joined the main road, we descended into a swarm of tourists surrounded by locals dressed in tribal costumes, desperately trying to sell their embroidered handicrafts.

The tourists and vendors left as quickly as they came, emptying the streets, but this 'rush hour' lunch break at a tourist restaurant in a 'village' invoked the feeling of a Disneyland showcase for tourists.

Some of the magic is not completely lost...

THE TRIBAL OUTFITS
Even if some tribes only wear their tribal outfits for tourists, it does preserve their decorated tradition. H'mong wear hand-

embroidered shirts of bright colors dyed by indigo plants, black velvet shorts and embroidered leg warmers. They also wear a shiny, purple vest, only for New Years.

Red Dzao wear red hats and shave their head and eyebrows once they are married.

THE LANDSCAPE

Some of the landscape remains beautiful. A cool,

mountain breeze pushes through the valley, swirling the clouds just below the mountain tops. Methodical rows of terraced rice fields (for village consumption only, not for sale) are dry in Feb, but shine bright green in August.

FRESH FOOD

Houses are surrounded by fresh produce that they pick before each meal.

Pigs run around freely....

...until they become succulent pork belly. (After my first pork belly in Laos, I'm now hooked!)



THE LOCAL GUIDES
Pem (late 20s?) and Khu (18) are lovely, joyful women who were our guides from Sapa Sisters. Pem gave knowledgeable insights into the culture that would be hard to discover on your own. There are 2 stories that stood out. Pem recounted how there was arranged marriages by parents and also 'Kidnap Marriages.' A man chooses a girl he likes and brings her to his home for 3 days. They return to the girl's home and decide with her parents if she will marry. Pem pointed to the poisonous plants that woman used to eat if they were not happy with their pending marriages. Women now have the right to refuse to be 'kidnapped' or marry. Progress!

The other interesting cultural insights were around healing practices. They believe that suctioning a buffalo horn to the forehead until a bruised circle appears will cure a headache and pinching the throat, creating intense bruising will cure a cough and cold. (Picture to Come)

And Some of the Magic Has Been Lost...

Modernity and Its Impact

As I sat in the 'homestay' on the first night, listening to the sounds of Mumford and Sons and other western tunes blaring out of the 20 year old Canadians phone next to me, I was conflicted thinking the villagers deserved the modern conveniences, BUT it's not something I necessarily need to go out of my way to see. Modernity makes life easier, but it can be at a cost to nature, beauty and serenity.

The first 'village' that i slept in, Lao Chai, advertised Free WiFi and Western Bars. I could not help but notice the 11yr old girl at our homestay looking at her phone throughout dinner.

Ban Ho, the village in the 2nd valley that I 'hiked' to, looked both naked and overdressed.

The mountains stood partially bare with sections of exposed rock and dirt carved to form main roads that connect the villages by motorbike. The area appeared as a massive construction zone.

The drivers took advantage of these roads and zoomed from the main roads into the village, making even elderly ladies jump aside.

The valley and surrounding mountains are cluttered with electric towers and pole lines, so every angle has an obstructed view. It was as if I was at a Power Plant.

The 'homestays' offered hot showers, flush toilets, soda and beer. Upon arrival, the family at the 2nd 'homestay' was nowhere to be seen, but I was greeted by 8 Dzao women in tribal outfits asking 'what's your name?' 'where are you from?' 'Buy something small.' And this continued while they persistently followed me as I walked through the village.

"This is walking, not trekking," a traveler from Saigon at the 2nd homestay said to me, "I don't want to walk along main roads with an open view of the town I'm walking to. I want to be trekking in nature." Unfortunately, this is no longer possible with the building of main roads and destuction of the small, quaint paths.

If you decide to go to Sapa, I would recommend only doing a 2 day, 1 night tour, and lowering the expectations of experiencing local village life. With that said, the local guides from Sapa Sisters truly are lovely and will make it a better experience.

UNIQUE TRAVEL TID-BIT of the DAY
As Pem was combing my hair to see if she can put it in the hairstyle of H'mong, she not only commented it looked like I had not brushed my hair in awhile - an accurate observation - but she also said I have a gray hair. "You're mistaken." I said. "That must be a blonde hair." "No, she replied. Its gray and I see 2 of them!" She said in perfect English. Sigh, my first 2 gray hairs found on a mountain top outside of Sapa town.

NEXT STOP: Train to Large bus to medium bus to boat to small bus to Cat Ba island.

Day 29 - Vietnam: My self-guided food and cultural tour in Hanoi

 I do thrive off of nature. However, there's a certain buzz of a city that energizes me. I could feel it upon arrival in Hanoi, even if the majority of restaurants and shops were shutdown for Tet, Vietnamese New Year.

In my best Project Management achievement to date, I successfully weaved my way through Hanoi, embarking on my own food and cultural tour.

7:00am - Joined the locals exercising at Hoàn Kiếm Lake. 3 loops around the lake gave me ample people watching time, spotting Tai Chi, ballroom dancers, foot volley with a hackey sack, racquetball over a mini net, innovative exercises using a park bench and more.

7:40am - Visited Ngoc Son temple (Temple of Jade), packed with worshippers honoring the New Year. Fruit, chicken, cookies and rice wine vinegar lined the offering table.

8:45am - Breakfast #1 - Pho at 32 Bat Dan Street

10:00am - 2nd Breakfast of Xoi Xeo (rice with mung bean and fried onion) at Quan An Ngon and a freshly squeezed passion fruit and kumquat juice

11:00am - Temple of Literature. Almost every Hanoi citizen & their cousin came to pay respects to the Temple dedicated to Confucius, which houses the first National University in Vietnam. People walked around laying Vietnamese Dong in front of shrines and waving their hands in prayer to bring good fortune to their families.

People queued as if they were waiting for a Pearl Jam concert poster to have calligraphists write New Years wishes in Chinese characters.

Two 12th grade girls waited for their inscriptions to dry and told me their posters said, "Good luck in your studies."

Others crowded the souvenir shops buying knickknacks of all sorts for Good Luck.

As I exited the temple, a girl literally pulled me toward her friends to take a picture with me.

12:45pm - OMG! OMG! I'm bouncing off the walls from my first Vietnamese coffee.

1:15pm - failed attempt for Banh cuon at Gia An 25 Thai Phien St

1:45pm - Visit to Hoa lo Prison (Hanoi Hilton) used by North Vietnam for Prisoners of War during Vietnam War.

2:45pm -  Stopped at a roadside restaurant (16 Quang Trung) to try bánh cuốn, steamed rice cake roll filled with ground pork & mushrooms served with sweet fish sauce and ham.


4:00pm - So-so 1 hour foot massage.

5:30pm - Early dinner of Bun cha, barbecued fatty pork (cha) in a sweet and sour sauce served with rice noodles (bun).

6:30pm - Ordered Mien Xao Luon fried eel in a broth with rice noodles (87 Hang Dieu St) but somehow ended up with boring bun ca - clear broth, rice noodles & chicken. Lost in translation. I ended up eating just the broth to save room for dessert.

7:00pm - Ended the food tour with a streetside dessert, Che, at 84 Hang Dieu St. You get to pick between tapioca, grass jelly, mung bean, fruit and coconut cream OR have it all!!

7:30pm - left for the train station for my overnight train to Sapa. I shared my train berth with a mom, Thuy, and two daughters, Thu An (16) and Trang (11) from Hanoi.


NEXT STOP: 3 day hike in Sapa

Day 28 - Laos: Last Day in Laos

I chilled at a cafe by the river, soaking up the last Laos scenery.

I lamented over leaving my favorite gluten-free mini-rice coconut pancake vendor.

I survived the flight to Hanoi with Lao air, who had a fatal crash in October 2013.


UNIQUE TRAVEL TID-BIT of the DAY:
By the time I left Laos, the temperature returned to normal. But when I arrived, it was 5 degrees and even dropped down to 2 degrees, which is the coldest its been in 70 years.

NEXT STOP: A day of exploration in Hanoi, Vietnam

Day 27 - Laos: A Few Tears and the Kindness of a Stranger

After 12 hours door to door on a jam packed bus (those are big bags of rice in the aisle),

I arrived to my guesthouse in Luang Prabang, hungry, ready to pee and grateful I had a room reserved because the streets were swarming with Chinese tourists on holiday for Chinese New Year. The look on the Guesthouse owners face said it all, I no longer had a room. "I had your room, but people came, and my friend gave it away. Not me." (Basically they could get more money for my room).

After a slightly heated conversation that was going no where, I left to find a new room. Unfortunately, I was greeted by Full signs wherever I went. I returned to the guesthouse that gave away my room and said, "if you gave away my room, you need to help me find a new one. Everywhere is booked. You have to have friends you can call." He walked around to a few friends guesthouses and returned not being able to meet my eye. He got back on the phone and called a few places. "It was my friend who gave away the room" he said again. This togethered to, your shit out of luck.

So, I left before I reached the point of punching the guy straight in the face. I continued my search. After over 25+ rejections and 2 hours later, I started crying in the lobby of a guesthouse. A Chinese girl, staying at this guedhouse, saw me crying in the lobby and offered to share her bed with me. She invites a complete stranger, without bringing up money and without any skepticism, to share a TWIN bed with her for the evening. Her name was YoYo and I was overwhelmed with the amazing kindness of this stranger.

I left my bag with YoYo to go get food. I walked down an alley where a man was standing in front of a gate. After 2+ hours of seeing Full signs, I'm not sure what possessed me to ask this man if he had a room available, but I did. He replied that he had a cancellation and he had one room left. It was twice the price of my original reservation, but at the end of the day, I figured $20 was worth the expense and saved YoYo from my sheet stealing habit.

YoYo and I still got a drink together, and I will be forever grateful for her kindness.

UNIQUE TRAVEL TID-BIT of the Day:
There may be FULL hotels in Laos, but there's no such thing as a FULL bus. Don't ever let someone tell you otherwise.

Next Stop: Last day in Laos :(